How My Quest Began...

Welcome, welcome.

You have found your way to my chocolate milkshake blog. As you can assume here is where I review the chocolate milkshakes I have drank from around the world (by that I mean parts of Canada and at this one place in Mexico.)

Before I continue it is important for you to understand how my quest and why I decided to the start this blog.

It was hot summer day and I had gone riding, however, my valiant steed and I became lost. To our misfortune, we learned that the scorching sun had caused most of the water that I had brought with me to evaporate. I climbed off my horse and and gave him what was left of the water.

We wander for what seemed like hours, trying to find our way home. Finally, I found a tree with enough shade to let both I and my steed rest protect from the burning rays of the sun. While sitting under this tree a vision came to me - I can not tell you what it was a saw for I am sworn to secrecy, but I can tell you this; its message was a powerful one and has made me who I am today. When the vision ended I ran to the top of a nearby hill and I screamed up to the heavens; "I VOW THAT WHENEVER I HAVE THE OPTION TO ORDER A CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE THAT I HAVE NOT TRIED BEFORE, THAN THAT IS WHAT I MUST HAVE! FOR I WILL FIND THE GREATEST CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE" The sky darkened and thunder boomed, a nearby tree was struck by lightning - I realized I was dabbling with dangerous powers by making that vow.

For many a year I have traveled around drinking chocolate milkshakes from a of different kind of eateries, restaurants, cafes, joints, dives, diners, greasy spoons, and ice cream shops. I have suffered much in my search for the greatest chocolate milkshake because of the vow I made, but I have also found great happiness. I came to the decision that the knowledge and wisdom of chocolate milkshakes that I have gained from these many travels should be shared among others. You deserve the happiness that is found in a chocolate milkshake and you deserve it without suffering the consequences that come when one makes a chocolate milkshake vow.

You maybe wondering, have I found the greatest chocolate milkshake? The answer to that question remains shrouded in mystery, for I have not and my search continues.

My reviews of chocolate milkshakes will be formatted in the following way:

Location: (I will be as precise as possible, sometimes I forgot to write all down.)

Price: (Again, this will be included if I remembered to take down the price.)

Chocolatiness: The flavour; was it a dark chocolate OR was more of a lighter chocolate, were there hints of cocoa, how rich was the actual flavor, OR did it taste like just milk, OR worse like something neither chocolate or milk?

Colour: Light or dark, white or deep brown?

Smoothosity: Was all the ice cream blended, were there chunks of ice cream floating around? OR did it seem like someone pour milk on ice cream and then stabbed it with a fork a couple times?

Straw Journey: How thick was the milkshake? How much suction was required to get it up the straw and into the milkshake? Was I making a fishy face in my efforts to drink it? Did my cheeks hurt afterward? OR Was it practically the consistency of water with no effort required to suck up through the straw.

Notes: Any additional notes I would like to add about the milkshake or experience; whether came with whip cream or not, if other varieties chocolate flavours were available, the size, and so on.

Overall Rating: A score from 1 to 10 will be given, the score is calculated using a very complicated and ancient mathematical formula that was discovered by a distant cousin of Pythagoras, it is known the Chocolatius Theorem. The scrolls upon which I discovered this theorem are hidden within a rock cave whose name can never be spoken and location can never be remembered.